Saturday, November 8th, 2014
Good morning God. This morning I felt a bit of judgement and resistance around the idea of “getting what I want”, that you wrote about a couple days ago. As I am moving into focusing on creating the life I want, means I have to want things, and there is a part of me that listened to the beliefs that I should not want anything. This then opened up some pain and disappointment around past failures of not getting what I wanted, and my beliefs that life is not fair, that I can’t get what I want, and it’s just as well, because I shouldn’t want anything, because that would be selfish. I see the part of me that became ambivalent, depressed and defeated. This opened an opportunity to do some forgiveness work.
“Good morning my love. Disappointment has taught you that you can’t have what you want. But what you couldn’t have is what your ego wanted. And you ego says: ‘see! You can’t have what you want’. But I don’t give you what I know you don’t want and if you keep trying to get it, you will just be miserable – especially if you get it! But, I tell you again and again that you can have (experience) everything you truly want and getting out of the way so you can receive it is what you are learning now. What you can do today is forgive yourself for wanting what you did not want – for trying so hard it get what you tried to get, thinking your attainment would make you happy. But you only failed to get what was not yours, so I would not judge this as failure. There are however, some things that you do want that supports you in being and expressing who are are. Forgive the small limited mistaken self you were, so you can become the infinitely expansive, powerful and wise One you are. Forgive the one who created limitation by believing in limitation. Become the One who knows that there is no limitation when you co-create with Me.
Love God”
I found the root of seeing how often I tried to get what I really didn’t want, thinking it would make me happy, but never did. I got to heal the wounds created in the illusion and to realize that what I want from my soul is never selfish. I got to forgive myself for being dishonest with myself and others about what I wanted, which I really didn’t want, and thus can let it all go. Today, I’m going to be quiet and listen to what I am inspired to move toward – desire to experience, from my heart. And with this space of healing, I am freer to receive. Thank you.
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Copyright, Diane Dandeneau, 2014
